Before you bastards get all excited and start unzipping your pants, let me go ahead and let you know that this is NOT a “nipple slip.” Technically. It’s more of an “areola outing,” if you will. Mother of God, cut me a fucking break already and just work with me here. It’s still “boobies.” A freshly-cropped Jenny McCarthy arrived at the “Leather and Laces Pre-Super Bowl XLI Party” on Saturday with a just smidgen of nipple squirming its way out of her massive saline cleavage. I’m sure after four or five drinks and some impromptu dancing the whole nipple finally made its tawny appearance. And ladies, you know for a fact that there’s no getting a nipple back in once it’s found an out. It’ll work its way back out every time. Wiley bastards, nipples. It’s almost like they have a mind of their own. One morning I woke up and found that my nipples had actually tied themselves into a windsor knot. Coincidentally, it just so happened to be the same day I threw up in that rodeo clown’s bed and accidentally set my trailer on fire with a Flaming Blue Jesus. I don’t like to point fingers, but I wasn’t wearing a bra when my drink “fell” out of my hand. And I certainly don’t know how to tie a windsor knot. All I’m saying is that you have to watch your nipples, girls. You can never be too careful.
More McCarthy barely-there areola after the jump.