Jessica Simpson was reportedly “blindsided” by her former Baptist preacher father Joe Simpson’s revelation that he was homosexual earlier this week. In case you’re wondering, the header image is how I imagine Jessica would look if she were blindsided by her father’s gay bombshell seven years ago when she was still hot, instead of blindsided by her father’s gay bombshell the way she looks now. You’re welcome. Radar Online says:

“Jessica had absolutely no clue that her father was gay, not even the slightest inkling,” the source [says]. “She thinks she has very good gaydar, especially since a lot of her friends are gay, but she did not see this coming at all.

Sister Ashlee has also taken the news quite badly.

“Jessica’s… having difficulty dealing with it. She can’t understand why Joe stayed married to Tina for so long, and can’t help wondering how much of their life was a lie,” the source continues.

“Despite that, she’s going to stand by him and support his decision. After all, he’s still her father.”

I was a little blindsided by Joe’s big gay bombshell, too. I never pictured him with a dude. An underage prostitute that looked just like his daughter ten years ago, sure. But not a dude.

From a 2005 Elle photoshoot (channel your inner cowgirl with this western shirt from Haute Hippie):