In the wake of filing for divorce from husband of 34 years Joe Simpson after it was revealed he’d engaged in multiple gay affairs, Jessica Simpson’s mother Tina has found a man of her own. A friend of mine named Jose Cuervo. Radar Online says:
The Simpson matriarch… [has] turned to hard liquor, and insiders report that her self-medicating with booze has her daughters so concerned that they are now urging her to seek treatment.
“Tina is hitting the bottle to ease her sorrows over her marital problems, she’s built up quite a tolerance and has switched from wine to stuff like scotch and vodka,” a source tells Star. “Jess is just a mess over this, she feels helpless and doesn’t know what to do.”
The people at E! True Hollywood Story must be shitting themselves over this. Daddy’s a closeted gay minister, mommy’s a drunk, the younger sister is a failure forced to live the older sister’s shadow, and the older sister has emotional eating issues and another bastard child on the way. It reads something straight out “Corazón Prohibido” on the Mexican channel.