John Mayer decided to weigh in on the Tiger Woods sexting situation, and his commentary is just as goddamn retarded as you might expect. From OK!:
John Mayer is happy to admit he sends the ladies in his life some fairly adult material via text message, but the difference between him and shamed golfer Tiger Woods? The guitar player isn’t the one with a wife.
“No. Tiger Woods’ problems come from him being married. The end. It has nothing to do with control,” John told the UK’s Independent newspaper. “If Tiger Woods was a single guy, what sort of angle would there be to a text message?
“If Tiger Woods was single and he texted a girl and said, ‘I wanna
wear your a** like a hat,’ why would that ever hit the news?
“I can text whatever I want to anybody in the world; I’m not married. I write a lot of dirty text messages to girls, and you’ve never seen any of them.
“Why? Because if a girl brought a dirty text message from me to the
newspapers, they’d say, ‘I don’t have an angle here. Someone wants to
wear your a** like a hat? Big deal. He’s 32 years old. He’s a single
guy. If John Mayer has a wife and sends dirty texts, then we got a
story.’ And that’s why I won’t do that.”
“When I get married, that’s gonna be my vows, ‘Do you, John Mayer,
take this woman to have and to hold, to wear her a** like headgear?’
Yes, I do – you’re the one whose a** I wanna wear like a hat for the
rest of my life.”
Gee whiz, what a charmer. What girl doesn’t dream of this kind of panty-melting romance from a silvertongued devil of her very own? And by that, of course I mean to say that John Mayer is an unfunny, self-absorbed asshat whose ego might theoretically be big enough to actually plug the hole in the ozone, if only he’d use his asshat powers for good instead of evil.