Jon Gosselin fired off a cease and desist letter to TLC this morning demanding that any and all television production of “Kate Plus Eight” be halted, telling Entertainment Tonight that he suddenly realized his family “was like a trainwreck,” so he decided to “put the brakes on the divorce and on the show,” because if he didn’t, “the family would be in a mortal accident.” Hang on while I go get a shovel. His attorney writes in the letter:

A new program known as ‘Kate Plus 8′ would certainly require the acquiescence and consent not only of Kate Gosselin but Jon Gosselin, who is the father of the eight Gosselin children, which consent Jon has not given and if necessary, Jon is prepared to seek Court intervention to make sure his children’s best interests are protected.

Jon Gosselin unequivocally believes that his children’s continued participation in [TLC's] television production is ‘detrimental’ to his children. Accordingly, Jon expects that your client will cease and desist from any and all further production which includes his eight children.

Effective immediately no production crews are to enter Jon Gosselin’s family home for any reason. In the event that anyone enters the marital property, Jon Gosselin will notify the local authority to effectuate Police action against any trespassers.”

Coincidentally, Jon’s newfound interest in his marriage and his children’s well-being comes just two days after it was announced that he was fired from the show. I believe that’s what you call “cutting off your nose to spite your face.” On the plus side, he won’t have to worry about smelling all the bullshit that comes pouring out of his mouth that way.