My favorite urban celebrity gossip blog Media Take Out is reporting that famewhore extraordinaire Kim Kardashian managed to get herself knocked up with Kanye West’s baby. Sounds doubtful, but these are the same people who got a hold of Kanye’s dick pictures a month ago, so if anyone’s in the market to know where he’s been sticking said wiener, it’d be them. They claim:
MediaTakeOut.com spoke with a person VERY CLOSE to Kim Kardashian this morning. And according to them, Kim is PREGNANT!!
The insider [said], “Kim has been seeing Kanye [West] off and on for years now. But this summer, they [hooked up] five or six times.” The insider continued, “Kanye told her that he didn’t want anything serious, but Kim really likes him.”
The insider explains, “Kim is being very secretive about everything. She calls [Kanye] almost non-stop and wants to know what she should do.” The insider reportedly OVERHEARD the conversation between Kanye and Kim with her OWN EARS.
So when can we expect an announcement. MediaTakeOut.com’s snitch explained, “Knowing Kim, she’ll coincide it with her show, in one episode her and Kanye go out on a date.”
This doesn’t sound like the Kim Kardashian I know at all, unless you can get pregnant from getting peed on. And if that’s the case, then my college roommate really dodged a bullet our freshman year. Or like seven bullets. Being the bottom bunk after Sigma Chi’s annual “Blackout or Get Out” party is fraught with gravity-induced unpleasantness.
Promoting her useless book with her equally useless sisters:
PHOTO CREDIT: Fame Pictures