Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Issue’s Rookie of the Year and the new T&A of Guess Kate Upton is now the face of lingerie giant Bare Necessities. I use the term “lingerie giant” literally, in that the panties themselves are giant, and “the face” because her face is the only part of her not covered up with hideous beige floral print. These are the sort of underpinnings you might wear when you want to discreetly hide your adult diaper beneath your elastic waistband pantsuit or if you find physical intimacy uncomfortable due to your prolapsed uterus, not when you’re a hot 19-year old swimsuit model.