Okay, so you can’t actually see her boobs, but she’s still technically topless. Therefore I can in good conscience title this post “Kate Upton Topless,” because as I previously established, she is, in fact, topless. And just how many times can I drop the words “Kate Upton topless” in one post? Enough times to boost my Google ranking a couple of notches? I’m afraid that one still remains to be seen. Maybe you should google it.