Katie Holmes’ lawyers reportedly filed for an emergency custody and child support hearing in New York on Tuesday to keep Tom Cruise from prematurely harvesting Suri’s organs or whatever it is Scientologists do during unsavory custody battle situations. The Daily Mail says:

A hearing on the filing… has been set for July 17.

A source [said]: ‘Katie filed an ‘emergent application’ in New York City on July 3.’

Both of the Hollywood stars would be required to appear in court on the aforementioned date before Judge Matthew Cooper.

[A] legal analyst[said]: “She’s making it clear she’s going to play tough. Cruise is more of a high-profile celebrity than she is, so he has a greater distance to fall if grievances are aired.”

“Everyone has dirty laundry they don’t want aired, but the fact that she’d choose [an attorney] known [for going] to media in the past signals that she might have hired him for that reason.”

For what it’s worth, Katie’s lawyer has since released a statement denying the actress is seeking an emergency hearing, but I’m starting to think maybe Katie was the one who concocted the story to begin with. Maybe it was her way of reminding Tom just who wears the pants here. She was warning him not to call her bluff, because as a thrice-divorced member of a batshit crazy cult, he’s sure to have plenty of skeletons in his closet, skeletons wearing mesh tank tops and assless chaps because he’s also secretly gay. That’s not a card he’ll wanna play.