Look out — TWO pop quizzes in one day! Carefully observe the photograph above. Is it:

A) Lady Gaga on a budget

B) A transsexual matador

C) Stevie Nicks after a vicious beating with a bouquet of Mexican paper flowers

D) The reason I never listen to the radio anymore

The answer, of course, is D) the reason I never listen to the radio anymore. Ke$ha. Ugh. A little part of me dies inside every time I have to type that dollar symbol instead of an S.

Dredging the internet so you don’t have to:

Jennie Garth is really, REALLY excited about the new pope. (Celeb Slam)

Best Kim Kardashian photo EVER. (Mandatory)

Lady Gaga in a 24K gold wheelchair following her hip surgery. If only there were a font for disdain. (DS)

Oh, and Lady Gaga might be getting married, too. Hopefully in that 24K wheelchair to a man in a platinum Hoveround. (Evil Beet)

Gwyneth Paltrow won’t let her kids eat bread, pasta, rice, dairy or eggs. But I bet it’s all the vitamin sea jelly enemas they can stand! (Celebitchy)

Nina Dobrev beats the crap out of Conan O’Brien: the video. (Seriously? OMG)

This is Emma Watson being, um, sexy, I think. (Celeb Jihad)

What are the first two words that come to mind when you see Zooey Deschanel’s face on the cover of InStyle? Other than “mask and blur,” I mean? (Amy Grindhouse)

James Marsden takes his little dog on a walk. (Socialite Life)

Katherine McPhee looks McFabulous on the cover of the April issue of Women’s Heath. I kinda hate myself for that one. (Daily Stab)

Lancome’s new Spring 2013 Collection is here! (Fab Over 40)

Jessica Alba promotes “The Honest Life” and Adobe Photoshop. (Bitten & Bound)

What David Bowie’s wife wasn’t supposed to say. (Huffington Post)

Michelle Keegan looks très chic at the TRIC awards. I kinda hate myself for that one, too. (Moe Jackson)