Kristen Stewart is Too Sad to Shower

Kristen Stewart’s split from Robert Pattinson has reportedly left her a sullen, greasy mess. How that’s any different from Kristen Stewart before the split I’m sure I don’t know. A source told Radar Online:

“Kristen is acting like a heartbroken teenager. She is crying her eyes out non-stop and does not want to communicate with anyone. She is pretty much inconsolable.

Kristen hasn’t showered or changed or washed her hair in several days. She is laying around in her T-shirt and shorts and eating ice cream.”

Too sad to shower? Please. That’s not real despair. Call me when you’re using your grandma’s Corningware as a makeshift bedpan because you’re too sad to get out of bed to use the bathroom. Now that’s sad.

Get Kristen’s Adidas tee and sweat shorts and make the look all your own. Only you might wanna bathe.

Kristen in some Italian magazine nobody’s ever heard of:

4 Reader Comments

  1. DJ

    This is funny and I’ve seen this story run on other sites. What’s funny about it, is that I highly doubt there is a fly on the wall monitoring Kristen’s showering habits & then buzzing to news sites with the ‘latest’ water news! lol..

  2. RebelBoy

    Emo pot headed cheatin’ rich bitch deserves all she gets!
    I hope all you idiots out there know this whole thing is a HUGE hoax!
    Her and Rob were never a couple…all pub’ for those shit crap movies!
    Your a Jackass if you think otherwise!

    RebelBoy

  3. DJ

    Who cares if it were a hoax, which I doubt it is, but why have so much passion, or anger, I should say about it either way?!! They are celebs & characters from movies. They aren’t hurting anyone, they aren’t personally affecting your life, so why care? Negativity only breads negativity.

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