Lindsay Lohan claims she’s been framed for the theft of $100,000 worth of watches from a Hollywood Hills home, because the black guy she was with totally did it. Much like she said the black guy did it when she stole a car and drove it a hundred miles an hour down the Pacific Coast Highway drunk and high on cocaine. TMZ says:

[The owner of the home Sam Magid] told cops Monday … he was in touch with 2 of Lindsay’s friends — one of whom is Andrew Knight — and they said the night of the theft Lindsay had handed them a bag with 2 or 3 pieces of the stolen items wrapped in her t-shirt. The 2 men returned the items Magid. Other items were still missing.

Magid also said he was in touch with Lindsay, who told him she had hidden some of the other items around the house because she was afraid they would be stolen by burglars. Magid told cops Lindsay confessed she was on Ambien at the time she hid the jewelry and was hazy about exactly what happened.

Now Lindsay claims Knight is the real culprit, something Knight strongly denies. And apparently cops buy his story, because Lindsay is the target of the investigation.

Magid told cops Lindsay contacted him recently and said, “I’m sorry. Please pray for me.”

In addition to the watches and sunglasses, we’re told Tiffany monogrammed silverware was also taken.

Blaming the black guy is usually your ace in the hole as a white woman, but Andrew Knight is Suge Knight’s son. Suge Knight, of Deathrow Records. Perhaps being dangled from a hotel balcony will help refresh her memory.

UPDATE: Surprise! She’s not going to be charged due to “insufficient evidence.”

Lindsay Lohan makes my ulcer flare up, so instead we’re gonna look at Sofia Vergara and her $2200 Fendi purse outside ABC Studios in New York today. You can get her same celebrity look without all the over-the-limit fees and eviction notices with this Marni bag (under a grand) or this Fontanelli bag (less than $500!).