You probably just assumed that Maddona was trying to hide old lady hands with those stupid-looking fingerless gloves, but the real reason she’s wearing them is because it makes gripping the necks of young virgins easier when it’s time for her to feast again. Plus I’m sure all that placenta she coats herself in makes it damn near impossible to turn a knob or open a car door. Anybody that’s given birth will tell you that shit is slick.
At the premiere of her new stinkbomb “W.E.”:
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures