True to form, Madonna kicked off her Sticky ‘n Sweet tour in Wales Saturday night beaver-first. You don’t make that kind of camel toe a regular part of your ensemble without giving center stage, and, apparently, a rhinestone-covered microphone all its own. Perhaps it planned on reciting the soliloquy from Hamlet, or maybe it just wanted to queef “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.” Unfortunately, we’ll never know, because Madonna stuck it in her pants the wrong way. This brings us to today’s important life lesson #736: always make sure when sticking things down your pants that they’re pointed in the right direction. This goes double for ferrets and antique dueling pistols. Just trust me on this one.