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Mariah Carey, Marissa Tomei Don’t Show Beaver


I don’t know how old this picture of Mariah Carey is. I also don’t know why somebody with thighs that massive would wear a skirt so short, but we’re not here to ponder the mysteries of life. We’re here to look at celebrity beaver. And this, my friends, is not celebrity beaver. It’s celebrity asscrack and butt flappage. Sorry. It probably could have been if those ham hocks of hers hadn’t gotten in the way, so blame the fatty.


But I did come across this picture of Marissa Tomei uncrossing her legs. Technically celebrity beaver, even if she had the good sense to wear underpants with a skirt. It’s — oh, I heard that, missy! Quit your bitching! You all can go straight to hell then! It’s the best I could do on a Wednesday, alright? Geez. I try and I try. Pearls before swine, I tell you what. I know just how that Jesus Christ must have felt during the Sermon on the Mount. Ungrateful blasphemers!

This kind of disappointing reveal after the jump.