Meet Michael Lohan’s bastard kid Ashley Kaufmann, the product of an affair with 44-year-old massage therapist Kristi Kaufmann back in 1995 when he and ex-wife Dina “were on a break.” But is she really his? The NY Daily News says
The resemblance is striking. From her freckles to her smile, Ashley certainly looks like a member of the Lohan family. “I’ve seen pictures and, to tell the truth, there are similarities with Linds,” Michael Lohan [said] last week.
[But] Lohan has gone so far as to say he will sue Kaufmann for libel and defamation if the [DNA] test results come back negative that he is Ashley’s father.
Well, I’d say chances are pretty good that she’s a Lohan, because she’s already pursuing a music career. According to MSNBC
Alleged illegitimate Lohan sister Ashley Kaufmann is reportedly trying to follow in the footsteps of her possible half-sisters Lindsay and Ali by approaching studios about cutting a record deal.
A record-industry insider says, “Ashley has more talent than Lindsay or Ali.”
My mentally challenged cousin’s left testicle has more talent than Lindsay or Ali, so that’s not saying much. No, really. You should hear its rendition of “Ave Maria.” I think the only word to describe it is “stirring.” It doesn’t so much “sing” as get wiggled up and down while George screeches in butchered Italian with his pants down, but it’s still 95% more tolerable than another Lohan album. Some industry people are already looking into it.
Now the girls can compete not only for their dad’s love, but also for fame. HILARIOUS. Finding out you have a half sister somewhere is one thing, finding out that she is better than you at what you claim to be ‘famous’ for… priceless.
But can she suck dick like Lindsay? That’s the real question.
and she’s also the CUTE sister.
singing testicles, love it, abby. does he do “silver bells”? that would be cool!
Yet another mouth he continues to not feed. Does anyone but me find it funny that Michael is marrying the girlfriend who slept with Jon Grosselin in order to write a Pr/Mgmt contract on a cocktail napkin giving Micheal Lohan 10% of everything he made, before the divorce from Kate? Micheal pimps out his future wife to take it for the team and tries to blackmail the guy so he can avoid working. He’s pimping her out!
He’s so odious, I wonder if she is tricking to keep them in motel 6 and Ihop’s when they are in LA – she was seen nightly on the strip for a few years, hmmm. He’s never worked since his last 2 year jail sentence, isn’t being employed a condition of parole, isn’t being a hooker a crime too? Some people never learn. People we are one heart attack away from them going away for good!