You already knew Michael Jackson was a freak, but this may still surprise you: he didn’t actually have a face. Most of it was just tattooed on. Same goes for the hair. According to Nine MSN
Michael Jackson’s autopsy report [notes that] his hair was “sparse and connected to a wig,” with his hairline tattooed to his scalp.
Other facial features were reportedly tattooed on as well:
“There is a dark skin discoloration resembling a tattoo on the anterior half of the scalp,” [the report states]. “There are dark tattoos in the areas of both eyebrows and at the superior and interior borders of the palperbral fissures. There is a pink tattoo in the region of the lips.”
That’s fuckin weird, right? Well, hang on — it gets even weirder. TMZ says
It seems Michael Jackson’s longtime doctor was telling the truth about Michael’s propensity to pee in bottles, based on the L.A. County Coroner’s autopsy report.
Among the items found in the bedroom where Dr. Conrad Murray was treating Michael Jackson — “a closed bottle of urine atop a chair.”
Michael Jackson [had a] habit of peeing in cups and other objects, often in front of others.
Dr. Klein told TMZ today Jackson would pee in any object that was available. “That’s how he peed,” Klein said.
Urine hoarding? Is there no end to the weirdness? Um, that would be a resounding no. This final shocking revelation from the autopsy report states:
Michael Jackson’s brain had been replaced with that of a tap-dancing pigeon nearly twenty years ago. Not only was his cerebrum not his own — his arms and legs were largely animatronic, controlled by a remote computer located in the south of Japan.
Okay, I made that last part up. That makes way too much sense to really be believable.
And now for someone’s whose face isn’t tattooed on: Danielle Sarahyba in the SI Swimsuit Issue: