Miranda Lambert Fashion Fail

ICYDK: This dress is actually by Shoshanna, not a McCall's I Love Lucy dress pattern.

Miranda Lambert bad shoes

These are the sort of shoes best reserved for ladies night with the Latin Kings or a House of Dereon-sponsored senior prom.

Miranda Lambert bad shoes

Kissing a puppy, or possibly sucking out his life force because it is the will of the shoes.

Miranda Lambert bad shoes

Notice the lack of floral prints or gold studs on the puppy's neckerchief.

Miranda Lambert Fashion Fail

All mocking aside, I heart dogs, and fans can join PEDIGREE and Lambert's campaign to help more homeless pups by visiting Facebook.com/Pedigree to nominate a community.

Betsey Johnson

Color + metal: Betsey Johnson pink neon patent metal 4-inch spiked gold heel ($109)

Gucci

Metal + texture: Gucci almond-toe pumps in a neutral suede with gold-studded heel detail ($358)

L'autre Chose

Color-blocking + strappy: L'autre Chose olive and pink leather T-strap heels ($147)

Madden Girl

Patent + pointy: Madden Girl Tartt High Heeled Pump in neon pink patent leather ($39)

Sergio Rossi

Color + texture: Sergio Rossi suede pointy-toe pumps in fuschia ($540)

[Close]

Country singer Miranda Lambert wore a Shoshanna floral-print shirt dress and gold-studded orange and pink strappy suede platform heels to the Pedigree Feeding Project in Los Angeles yesterday, an initiative designed to help dog shelters across the United States. Fortunately for shelter dogs, they’re mostly color-blind. If only Miranda Lambert had that excuse.

Miranda is short and busty, so big bright floral prints aren’t exactly doing her any favors, but I could let it slide if it weren’t for those shoes. Dear God, the shoes. Texture, studs, straps, stacks, colorblocks — she hit every single branch on her way down the footwear-trend tree. It’s the shoe equivalent of one of those one man band belly-drums with the cymbals and the harmonica/accordion attachments. Pick one or two trends and leave it at that.

Do it right:

Color + texture: Sergio Rossi suede pointy-toe pumps in fuschia ($540)

Color-blocking + strappy: L’autre Chose olive and pink leather T-strap heels ($147)

Color + metal: Betsey Johnson pink neon patent metal 4-inch spiked gold heel ($109)

Patent + pointy: Madden Girl Tartt High Heeled Pump in neon pink patent leather ($39)

Metal + texture: Gucci almond-toe pumps in a neutral suede with gold-studded heel detail ($358)

Take a lesson from the Labrador — less is ALWAYS more.