I’m way hungover this morning, so I have a legitimate medical excuse for not wanting to see Lindsay Lohan or Kim Kardashian’s stupid cunt faces. You never know what might put me over the edge and make me start vomiting again, and my liver can’t afford the moisture loss. So instead, we’re going to look at an actress who is naturally beautiful, whose face isn’t painted up like a Turkish whore or bulging with dermal fillers, an actress who is actually talented and smart and keeps her tits under wraps. Really, there’s only so many ways I can work the words “anal” and “skankwhore” into a post before it just starts to sound redundant.

Pics from Natalie Portman’s Dior campaign (get an above-the-knee version of her Dior skirt from BB Dakota here, or a to-the-knee version from M. Ferrari here, or a full-length just like hers from Limi Feu here. You could always get all three and wear them underneath each other Russian doll style, where each skirt gets smaller and smaller as the outer skirt is removed. It’ll be a neat party trick for the kiddos.

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