Photos have now emerged of Natalie Portman’s wedding to Benjamin Millepied, and it’s even more pretentious than you could have possibly imagined. People Magazine says:

Instead of having flowers flown in, the ceremony featured wildflowers indigenous to the Big Sur coast where the ceremony took place. The menu was strictly vegan.

Eschewing the traditional wedding cake, the couple opted for French macaroons.

When things wrapped up around 2 a.m., guests took home packets of wildflower seeds inscribed with a single word: “Merci.”

The real reason I’m posting this is just to point out that even when I completely make shit up, half of the stuff I pull out of my ass turns out to be true. That means there’s a pretty good chance Lindsay Lohan is gonna die of an overdose while blowing a donkey. Remember, you heard it here first!

A modern take on Natalie Portman’s Rodarte dress — sans sleeves! Or you could shorten the hem and the sleeves for a much naughtier school-girl look.