37-year-old mother of 14 Nadya Suleman — better known to the rest of the world as masturbation porn star Octomom — was paid five grand to gyrate uncomfortably in her panties and shuffle around a pole at The Playhouse Gentlemen’s Club in Miami this weekend. The Daily Mail says:
For her first dance, [Suleman] wore a PVC mask, thigh-high boots, corset, bra and pants, while carrying a riding crop. She removed her outfit to the sound’s of Rihanna’s S&M, ending up in just her boots and knickers.
For her second dance, she changed into a sexy schoolgirl costume of pigtails, knee-high stockings and checked skirt as she performed to Rihanna’s Rude Boy.
Rihanna was a good choice, but I wouldn’t have gone with “S&M” or “Rude Boy.” I would have chosen a more apropos Rihanna song, like “Disturbia,” if only because “Stretch Mark City” and “Make Me Wanna Puke” aren’t actual songs.
May God have mercy on your souls: