Midget boxer Oscar De La Hoya is of course alleging that those shameful pictures of him in a fishnet body suit and ladies pumps that hit the net yesterday are fakes. His rep even went as far as to say the pictures “are clearly Photoshopped. His head’s too small and it doesn’t even look like his body.” *cough cough* BULLSHIT! *cough* Rush and Molloy tell a very different story
The photos are being peddled by a Scores [stripper], according to the Gotham magazine columnist who scored the first interview with the twentysomething woman. “She says she took the photos at the Ritz-Carlton in Philadelphia on May 17,” he tells us. “I fully believe she is telling the truth. She had been reluctant to talk. But now that she’s being called a liar, she’s ready to sell her story.
They’d meet up in hotels, where the party could go on for days. There was a lot of tequila. It involved men and women. They indulged his every whim and taste. He wore size 9 ladies shoes. He also liked wearing thigh-high nylons. He liked sex games. He and the girl would sit in a chair that they’d pretend was a motorcycle. He’d pretend he was the girl on the back of motorcycle. She’d be the guy. He’d grab her around the waist and squeal, ‘Faster! Faster!’”
I don’t even know where to begin. It’s like a comedy gold mine. Everywhere you look there’s a fucking punchline. Jesus, can you even top a midget dressed like a woman playing pretend motorcycle and squealing? I’ve stared at this computer for hours and I’ve still got nothin’. Maybe a joke about his getting kicked in the jimmy. Or something with poop. I don’t know. The point is, this may possibly be the pinnacle of my career right here, and I didn’t write a goddamn word of it. Yep, it’s going to be a good day, my friends. Sometimes you can just tell.
In case you missed it in the Quickies yesterday, a couple of those shots of Oscar again after the jump.