Paris Hilton was busted with pot in South Africa earlier this month, and now she got caught smuggling it into France. Two guesses as to whether she actually suffered any legal consequences for it. Us Magazine says:
Paris Hilton was briefly detained on the French island of Corsica Friday after local authorities found less than a gram of marijuana in her purse.
The Corse-Matin newspaper reports the heiress, 29, was held after arriving at the Figari airport from Paris and released without charge. The paper adds Hilton was traveling with “people close to power in Malaysia” and was en route to Sardinia, Italy.
I couldn’t understand how Paris Hilton could smuggle dope into two different countries and not get her passport yanked, but then I got a hold of the Motion to Dismiss documents her attorney filed and it all made sense. And now, in a Yeeeah! exclusive, I present Paris Hilton’s previously unseen legal defense:
Motion To Dismiss: Paris Hilton Possession of Less Than One Ounce of a Class D Substance
Although the facts of the case are not in dispute, those facts heretofore do not prove a prima facie case of guilt. Therefore the defendant moves the court as follows:
1. To dismiss the action or in lieu thereof to quash the return of service of summons on the grounds (a) that the defendant is a United States citizen and was not and is not subject to service of process of France, and (b) that the defendant has not been properly served with process in this action, all of which more clearly appears in the affidavits hereto annexed as Exhibit A and Exhibit B respectively.
2. Defendant is in possession of a major wonky eye. Seriously, have you seen it? She’s only operating with 25% vision outta that thing, tops. How the hell would she know what’s in her purse when she can’t see out of the whole left side of her face? I really thought she had Bell’s Palsy this whole time. Honestly.
3. Helloooo…. wonky eye? I thought we covered this already. Heretofore pursuant other legal words blah blah blah fuck you, France!
The defense rests, your honor.
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures