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Paris Hilton’s Number All Yours Now

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Conflicting reports surfaced last Friday claiming that Lindsay Lohan’s MySpace and Blackberry accounts had been hacked. Although her publicist claims it was a hoax, former beauty queen Shanna Moakler seemed pretty sure it was in fact the real Lindsay’s private account, because she posted the following on her own MySpace:

and since there are 2 little girls with to much time on their hands and no one to love them… id like to share my “hacked” info as well. ive tried to disassociate myself from both these parties for some time now and like a fungus they wont go away.

Paris Hilton: princessph@mycingular.blackberry.net
310-801-0148

djllohan@tmail.com (cause we like to pretend we are people we will never be talented enough to be)
Lindsey Lohan: labellavita7@tmo.blackberry.net

Bear in mind that Shanna is 32 and Lindsay and Paris are in their twenties. Three grown-ass women behaving like a bunch of fucking eighth-graders. The only reason I even decided to post this drivel now is because the phone number listed on Shanna’s MySpace actually belongs to Paris Hilton. No hoax about it — give Ms. Hilton a jingle and listen to the message. She won’t answer your call, but it’s worth it to finally get to call Paris Hilton a “fucking useless piece of shit” yourself. You know, instead of having to write all those pissy letters to your senator or mailing her those bits of the hedgehog you scraped off the interstate. Roadkill doesn’t exactly have a shelf life, you know. Unless you vacuum-seal it and put it in the freezer — then it can last for weeks!