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Celebrities Fornicate at the Playboy Mansion

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A former Playmate and two-year resident of the Playboy Mansion is writing a tell-all book detailing the tawdry goings-on inside “the castle that airbrushing built.” Izabella St James tells News of the World:

“Anything goes in that place — It’s everything you ever imagined and worse… Leonardo [DiCaprio], Owen [Wilson] and Colin [Farrell] were the girls’ favourites.

Leo…[would] practically live at the mansion. I lost count of the times I saw him at the end of a bash bundling five or six girls into the back of a limo to take back to his house… Leo loved to sneak into the grounds with them and have sex on the benches in the undergrowth next to the monkey enclosures. Matthew Perry from Friends liked that, too.

Owen Wilson was another one who practically lived at the mansion. He had a reputation for being fantastic in bed as well. I couldn’t count the girls who bragged how they’d enjoyed group sex sessions with him.

Colin Farrell had that knack, too. One night we watched as he led one of the Playmates down to what we call the Greenhouse. It’s a glass area in the garden where the showers are. There he stripped off the girl’s clothes, kissing and touching her all over. He was tearing at his shirt. They couldn’t get enough of each other… Colin just loved to romp outdoors.”

I, for one, am shocked. I always assumed that the Mansion was kind of like a halfway home for wayward blonds, and that Hugh Hefner was kind enough to take them under his wing and provide tutelage and regular scripture readings and other character-building exercises. But drunken Hollywood orgies? Next to the monkeys? That Hugh Hefner will not be on my Christmas card list this year. No sir. Unless he can score me a three-deep orgy with Colin Farrel sometime this month, of course. And I want monkeys.