Chris Brown is already cheating on Rihanna. I’m holding out for a murder-suicide. (Celeb Slam)

Justin Bieber’s been blasting his lats, or possibly taking anabolic steroids. (INF Daily)

Miranda Kerr stole the Mango campaign from Scarlett Johansson! I say we get a tub of Jell-O and settle this the old-fashioned way, girls! (Moe Jackson)

Lea Michele loves her boobs, and I would, too, if they weren’t attached to Lea Michele. (Hollywood Rag)

All that homewrecking and purging has really ravaged LeAnn Rimes‘ face. (Celebitchy)

Zero Dark Thirty is pro-torture, just like Jack Bauer and my abuelita. (Huffington Post)

Charlie Sheen slipped Lindsay a hundred grand and she didn’t even bother to send a thank you blowjob. Rude. (Evil Beet)

Taylor Swift has this bearding thing down pat. Tom Cruise missed out on the perfect woman! (Hollywood PQ)

Maria Menounos booty pop, because until now, there wasn’t a Maria Menounos booty pop in your life. (G Celeb)

The meanest prank you can play on your girlfriend this Christmas, because if there’s one thing the holidays are about, it’s meanness and pranks. It harkens back to the time of Baby Jesus, who fell victim to the first ever mean Christmas prank when one of the Wise Men gave him myrrh. (Caveman Circus)

The best of Paulina Gretzky’s shameless slutty photos of 2012. (Busted Coverage)

Hilary Duff needs to seriously re-think skinny jeans. (popoholic)