Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon’s new movie blows so hard, it could be Lindsay Lohan. (Pajiba)

Lingerie models — in lingerie, no less! (UseMyComputer)

Which weighs more — Tori Spelling, or 37 heads of lettuce? Make sure and show your work! (Websters)

Kim Kardashian shows off the cupcakes. (Moe Jackson)

Simon Cowell’s so rich, he hired a stripper to get dressed on stage at his birthday. And no, that’s not a joke. (Agent Bedhead)

Even mustachioed fin-footed mammals think America Fererra is gross. (Seriously? OMG)

Brooke Burke camel toe! (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Linday Lohan’s mother says she’s a genius. It almost rhymes with “penis,” so close enough. (CelebNewsWire)

Watch the never-before-seen opening sequence of the new Twilight sequel! And then get back to your algebra homework. (Socialite Life)

Miley Cyrus’ boyfriend makes her quit being such a twit. Or something like that. (Celeb Jihad)

Paris Hilton got Botoxed. Can we call it “Ho-tox” now? (Hollywood Rag)

Since Lindsay’s fashion line fared so well, her mommy Dina launches her own shoe line called — wait for it — Shoe-Han. Nice. (Holy Moly!)

Usher calls the cops on his ex-wife! (TMZ)

Watch Taylor Swift’s new video “Fifteen.” (Allie is Wired)

Kristin Cavallari in short shorts and high heels. (Bricks and Stones)