Johnny Depp’s wife goes topless for Elle. If only he had joined suit… (G Celeb)

Sofia Vergara must live in that damn purple one-piece and sunhat. (Derek Hail)

Olivia Wilde’s steamy lesbian makeout scene is here for your viewing pleasure. (Celeb Jihad)

Sophie Turner never disappoints, by which I mean she always dresses like a whore. Well-played, Ms. Turner. (Moe Jackson)

If you thought you wanted to see Christina Hendricks in just her underwear, think again. And then slap yourself for thinking such a terrible, terrible thought. (Holy Moly!)

This is the best Jenna Jameson has looked in the last ten years. And that’s not saying much. (Hollywood Rag)

Alessandra Ambrosio should just be naked wherever she goes and save us all the trouble of mentally undressing her. (CelebSlam)

Reese Witherspoon looks all washed out on the cover of Vogue magazine. (Jezebel)

Dennis Quaid opens up about being a massive coke head. (Bitten & Bound)

10 Things You Should Know About Sex. Besides “herpes” and “implied consent,” I mean. (College Candy)

Suckerpunch sucker-sucked, but the chicks in it are pretty hot. (COED Magazine)

Alexis Texas shows you don’t always have to use an orifice to have a good time. At least, I think it’s supposed to be a good time. Maybe those were just tears of happiness. (DRW)

Zooey Deschanel can look smokin’ hot when she wants to. (City Rag)

LeBron James’ mother arrested for bitch-slapping a valet at the Fontainebleau Hotel. You can take the hoodrat outta the ghetto, but you can’t take the ghetto out of the hoodrat. Or something like that. (Gone Hollywood)

Liam Neeson’s cameo in The Hangover 2 gets axed! (Post Chronicle)

Paris Hilton is being sued for sixty grand by a jewelry company that loaned her a necklace that was supposedly stolen by burglars. Geez, Lindsay Lohan much? (TMZ)