Selena Gomez looks beautiful in Teen Vogue, and there’s nary a hint of Justin Bieber. (Skinny vs Curvy)

There are some things you CAN’T do at Wal-Mart. Like stick your hand down your significant other’s pants with a fistful of stolen lubricant. (Seriously? OMG)

Candice Swanepoel and Bregje Heinen do Victoria’s Secret proud. Also the second chick’s name sounds an awful lot like “heiny.” Win-win! (Moe Jackson)

Simona Kubasova wore the double seat belt bra! (G Celeb)

Hot nobody Gretchen Rossi in a bikini, because it’s summer and today is boring. (The Grumpiest)

First pics of Jessica Biel as April in the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. Adam Sandler movies and TMNT? There’s no stopping her career! (Hollywood Rag)

The first “Killing Them Softly” trailer starring none other than Brad Pitt. (Huffington Post)

All the sexy Olympic ass, beach volleyball edition! (COED Magazine)

Derek Jeter’s new girlfriend Hannah Davis could scrub laundry on those abs. (Busted Coverage)

Michael Phelps is now the most decorated Olympian in history. Guys like him give pot a good name. (Celebitchy)

Christina Aguilera is the new voice of world hunger. You now how the starving and the impoverished love irony. (The Blemish)

If you feel like fighting invisible criminals, have yourself some bath salts and go to town like this fine couple. (Gawker)

These pics of Hayden Panettiere topless in a school girl uniform will make you glad you decided not to wear pants today. Or maybe you’re wearing pants and the photos are fake. The important thing here is: boobs. (Celeb Jihad)