The unbelievably beautiful Jessica Clarke in her knickers for Victoria’s Secret. (G Celeb)

Maria Menounos and Urkel join the cast of Dancing with the Stars. I’m sure I won’t watch a single episode of that shit unless Maria suffers an on-air wardrobe malfunction a la Nancy Grace. (COED Magazine)

Marisa Miller is so pretty that you don’t even care that she has AIDS. Or something like that. I dunno, I was mostly looking at her boobs. (Moe Jackson)

And speaking of boobs, Jennifer Lopez tries to recreate the splendor that was her Grammys Versace dress, fails. (Hollywood Rag)

Look — it’s Lady Gaga’s first-ever photo shoot! (Evil Beet)

For my pyros, video of Juan Pablo Montoya’s fiery Daytona 500 crash. (Bitten & Bound)

Ali Fedotowsky is a complete moron, but she’s in a bikini. I had to shoot from the hip here. (Celeb Slam)

Are Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied secretly married? More importantly, does anybody care? (The Blemish)

Super Mario gifs for my fellow old-school Nintendo geeks. (Caveman Circus)

Irina Shayk had the best side-boob at the Oscars, pants hands down. (The Grumpiest)

Angelina Jolie’s now-infamous leg pose is this year’s Academy Awards’ most mocked moment. You know Jennifer Aniston is fucking loving this. (Celebitchy)

It’s a Karolina Kurkova bikini picture party, and you’re invited! (City Rag)

Tiny hummingbird snores are the cutest kind of snores: the video proof. (Jezebel)