Mariah Carey demonstrates why sweatpant culottes will never take the fashion industry by storm. (The Grumpiest)

Anthony Hopkins says Paris Hilton is a “soulless machine.” Much like people who don’t sing along when Don McLean’s “American Pie” comes on the radio. (Hollywood Rag)

I guess Pete Doherty’s shooting up in his fucking neck now. (Holy Moly)

The Olsen twins continue smoking fashion crack at the Elle Awards. (Moe Jackson)

Tricia Helfer’s side boob makes an unexpected reappearance. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Jesus wept, but this time tears of joy, because Madonna just got him a record deal. (Socialite Life)

The Jersey Shore and some old dude go shirtless for some reason. Ooh, the suspense is killing me! (Litely Salted)

Mike Patton flashes his wiener! He’s that one old guy from that one eighties band. (The Blemish)

Twilight’s Kellan Lutz’ PETA propoganda pics. (Celebrity Smack)

Have you no shame, Lego? A Stephen Hawking Lego to complete your Quadruplegic Physicists of the 20th Century collection. (Celebrity Odor)

Science creates the world’s most beautiful woman, and it’s not Kelly LeBrock. (Celeb Jihad)

Cindy Crawford’s nipples? Why, yes, please! (UseMyComputer)

The Top Ten Halo screen shots to make you laugh. (COED Magazine)

Now you can learn how to Bedazzle your vagina, thanks to these handy NSFW pictures! (OMG Blog)

Killer whale attacks and kills trainer at Sea World Orlando; Mo’nique goes missing for two hours and is discovered soaking wet. Coincidence? You decide. (Bitten and Bound)