Why are the Olsen twins dressed like Mafia wives? (INF Daily)

Kate Jackson is almost bankrupt, so of course, she’s suing people. (Right TV)

Justin Bieber pisses on a bunch of kids at Six Flags. Metaphorically speaking. (Gawker)

Elisha Cuthbert in a bikini is really disappointing. Unless you’re into spare tires and fupas, in which case it’s absolute gold. (UseMyComputer)

Tori Spelling in a bikini if you’re going the other way, thanks. (The Grumpiest)

I hope to God none of these people work at your children’s school. (Caveman Circus)

Boy, this gives a whole new meaning to the term “birthday ass.” (Busted Coverage)

Anne Hathaway’s old boyfriend is in jail for fraud. Her new boyfriend is wanted for theft. She must have a thing for felons. (The Blemish)

Eva Mendes has a massive wedgie. (Moe Jackson)

Tyra Banks’ first novel “Me Me Me — Hey, Look at Me!” is sure to fly off tens of bookshelves in its first week. (Bricks and Stones)

Lucy Pinder never disappoints. Unlike my dad on my birthday. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Mel Gibson cheats on his mistress with a porn star. Perhaps the Whore of Babylon was too busy. (CelebNewsWire)

Iron Man 2 might not break your pelvis, but you’ll definitely walk away with some chafing and a limp. (Pajiba)

Helen Mirren gets waxed. (Gone Hollywood)

Evangeline Lilly out-bitches David Letterman: the video. (Seriously? OMG)

Britney Spears upskirt extravaganza! (City Rag)

Miley Cyrus giving some guy a lapdance — now with video! (Celebitchy)