Lucy Pinder forgot to put her top on. She must have been in a real hurry. (G Celeb)

Find out how hard “Rock of Ages” blows. (Moe Jackson)

Kelly Osbourne looks absolutely wretched. Kill it with fire already. (Hollywood PQ)

Chris Brown goes running to Rihanna after Drake beat him up. Looking for consolation (for being assaulted) from a woman you previously assaulted isn’t so much irony as it is Rihanna’s a fucking idiot. (Hollywood Rag)

A naked guy breaks into Lacey Schwimmer’s dressing room. How come that never happens to me? (The Blemish)

Selena Gomez is NOT into bondage or anything with testicles. Hence, Justin Bieber. (Celeb Slam)

Jenny McCarthy is following in the brave steps of Anna Nicole Smith by sexting octogenarians. (ONTD)

Redneck Car Show lives up to its name. (Caveman Circus)

Is Chris Evans headed for a nervous breakdown or an existential crisis, or is it just a manefestation of untreated syphilis? (Celebitchy)

Vanessa Hudgens is a stage 4 clinger. (I’m Not Obsessed)

Rihanna says she’s a size 0 and “not happy about it.” I say, “Fuck you, Rihanna.” (Skinny vs Curvy)

Bachelorette Emily Maynard will serve as your breast augmentation cautionary tale of the day. (The Stir)