The sluttiest sandwich I have ever seen. (EHOWA)

And speaking of slutty, turns out sleeping with a guy on the first date can actually lead to marriage! I’m living proof of that one. (Jezebel)

Sloth from The Goonies… as a baby! (COED Magazine)

Justin Bieber claims he and Selena Gomez are still a couple, despite these pictures of her wrapped around another boy’s shoulders. (The Blemish)

T&A for your Friday: all the UFC girls in bikinis at a pool party at the Palms in Vegas. (Moe Jackson)

Miranda Kerr gets a wax figure! And once I figure out how to smuggle it out the employee entrance, I’m never having dinner alone again. (Hollywood Rag)

Kim Kardashian refers to herself as Blue Ivy Carter’s “Auntie Kim,” but Beyonce prefers “No-Relation Skank Whore Kim.” I guess it’ll be up to Blue Ivy, then. (Celebitchy)

The first pics of Ben Affleck’s masculine child, Sammy. (Hollywood PQ)

Demi Lovato in a Linday Lohan wig and plenty of photoshop on the cover of SELF. (Amy Grindhouse)

Minka Kelly’s tits in a tight tank top because I’m a sucker for alliteration. (Popoholic)

Adrian Brody’s girlfriend is mounting him from behind in the outdoor shower. I’m both aroused and repulsed, like when I watch a hot dog eating contest. (Evil Beet)

Kelly Clarkson STILL isn’t a lesbian. Or as thin as that Lucky magazine cover would have you believe. (Bitten & Bound)

Tom Cruise forbade Katie Holmes from flying with Morgan Freeman, probably because he played God in that one movie and God is Xenu’s arch-nemesis. (INF Daily)

Is model Erin Wasson skinny or sickly? Good thing the fashion industry doesn’t differentiate. (G Celeb)