Sadists are out, terrorist-killing military men are IN! Where do I sign up? (The Stir)

Britney Spears actually looks decent on the cover of Elle. Adobe had a heavy hand in that process. (Hollywood PQ)

If you like natural beauties instead of overly-made-up Kim Kardashian-style whores, I think I just stumbled upon their breeding ground. (Caveman Circus)

Jennifer Love Hewitt upskirt pics. Good thing her thighs touch, or you really might have seen something. (Celeb Jihad)

Kelly Brook makes up for that awful pink sequin dress at the GQ Men of the Year Awards. (Moe Jackson)

Jenna Jameson looks like a praying mantis crossed with a rubber latex doll. (Hollywood Rag)

Christina Aguilera tells Lucky magazine that the body challenge she’s struggled with all her life is “being too thin.” I assume that’s when the staff snorted and spat out their Diet Cokes. (Celebitchy)

It’s just a matter of time until Beyonce invests in her own water wig. Like the emperor’s new clothes, but with hair. (Ned Hardy)

Scandal afoot? Tobey Maguire axed from The Life of Pi! (Huffington Post)

Video of Kellie Pickler shaving her head, but it’s for breast cancer, not because she lost custody of her children and has taken to snorting Adderall. Sigh… I miss the old Britney. (Bitten & Bound)

Emma Watson is growing out her hair because boys told her to. How very empowering. (Evil Beet)

Ha ha — Beyonce still HATES Kim Kardashian. That makes two of us. (popbytes)

I love dogs, and dogs love food, and I love pictures of dogs loving food. Everybody wins! (City Rag)