Eva Mendes gets the very latest in Oglivie home perms. My nine-year-old self is so jealous of those spirals! (Celeb Slam)

Joanna Krupa says she’s not a hooker. People just happen to like giving her money when she has sex with them. It’s a coincidence. (The Blemish)

All the sexy celebs on the red carpet at the “Nobody Walks” premiere. (Moe Jackson)

Newsflash that isn’t a newsflash: Arnold Schwarzenegger liked whoring around. (Hollywood Rag)

Jennifer Lopez brings her young ward to the Fashion Show — and her daughter tags along, too. See what I did there? That’s a joke at Casper Smart’s expense, because he’s so much younger than she is. I’ll give you a minute. (Hollywood PQ)

Robert Pattinson is reportedly bad in bed. Unless you’re a gay man, in which case he’s passably mediocre in bed. (Right Celebrity)

Minka Kelly knows how to do tasteful cleavage. Now how about some un-tasteful cleavage, Minka? (Popoholic)

Lady Gaga attempts Liz Hurley’s infamous Versace safety pin dress, fails. (INF Daily)

Get an eyeful of some real beauty. It’s like looking inside my soul. (Caveman Circus)

Ha ha — Alex Cora denies Carlos Lee’s fistbump, and it’s all caught on video. (Busted Coverage)

Chelsea Handler tells the world, “Angelina Jolie is, you know, kind of evil.” Angelina Jolie could have responded with “Chelsea Handler is, you know, kind of haggard.” But she didn’t. That’s class, ladies and gentlemen. (Celebitchy)

University of Tennessee’s Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity is very serious about not butt-chugging, so serious in fact that they issued a formal statement claiming not to be butt-chuggers. (Gawker)

Mayim Bialik wants you to “beat your meat.” I’ve been on board that train for years now. Catch up, Blossom! (Evil Beet)

Rihanna lands her sexiest gig yet — the Victoria’s Secret fashion show! (Huffington Post)