Presented without comment for your viewing pleasure: The Life and Times of Tim. (Caveman Circus)

Candice Swanepoel’s impossibly perfect ass in a thong bikini. (Moe Jackson)

Ashley Greene says she stopped partying when she was 18 and doesn’t drink anymore. She should be glad she’s totally out of my league and not a lesbian, because I’d have nothing to do with her after that. (Celebitchy)

David Arquette gets his most embarrassing tattoo yet. (popbytes)

Ashely Tisdale celebrated her birthday with a box of Revlon’s finest Frost ‘n Glo and a bikini. (Popoholic)

Nicki Minaj spent $4,700 on fried chicken last week alone. Honest to God. You don’t even wanna KNOW her watermelon bill. (Hollywood Rag)

Sad news today: Andy Griffith dies at the age of 86. (Right Celebrity)

The only thing more horrifying than Kirsten Dunst is Kirsten Dunst without makeup. (Evil Beet)

Ass rocket warnings, because the Fourth is tomorrow! (City Rag)

Avril Lavigne needs to keep all her sick Canadian sexual perversions to herself. Same goes for her “music.” (Celeb Jihad)

Olivia Munn is topless in “Magic Mike,” and here’s the proof in painstaking screen cap form. Maybe now you can talk your man into seeing it with you. (G Celeb)

Kim Kardashian is wearing a silk replica of the female reproductive organ right there on her dress. Very gynocentric, but a bit déclassé for my taste. (INF Daily)

An LSU cheerleader goes all kinds of wild with some NSFW pics on her iPhone. (Busted Coverage)