Whitney Port in a bikini, the only time she’s tolerable. (The Grumpiest)

E!’s Giuliana Rancic dazzles at the Oscars. (UseMyComputer)

Jennifer Love Hewitt will play a prostitute in her next movie. (Hollywood Rag)

Betty White is hosting the May 8th episode of SNL! (Socialite Life)

Jamie Jungers wins 75 grand for having fucked Tiger Woods. Why do I keep missing the gravy train? (Holy Moly)

I’m sure there’s a perfectly good reason Maggie Gyllenhaal is pulling her top down for all to see. (Moe Jackson)

Mario Lopez took enough time between between self-tanning and flexing in front of a mirror to actually impregnate someone. (Wonderwall)

Heidi fires her husband as manager! Is this the beginning of the end of Speidi? Let’s fucking hope so. (Litely Salted)

Why does Marion Cotillard have a pair of tits on her forehead? And more importantly, where can I get some? (Hollywood PQ)

You might not know who Belen Rodriguez, but after seeing these pics of her in a thong bikini, your penis will thank you anyway. Trust. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland” is cool to look at, but it’s got no soul. Kinda like Kim Kardashian. (Pajiba)

See the dirty pics that got city councilman Scott Janke fired. (The Dirty)

Olivia Wilde looks sexy as hell in the new Tron trailer. (Celebrity Odor)

Conan O’Brien’s going on tour, and here are the dates! (Celebrity Smack)