Miranda Kerr dresses up as a Grecian goddess at the Women of Style Awards. (Celeb Slam)

Kris Jenner’s beauty is just about as natural as her daughter’s, as evidenced by her enormous fake top lip. (The Blemish)

Is it just me, or does Zooey Deschanel look like SNL’s Fred Armisen in a Bettie Page wig? (Evil Beet)

Carrie Underwood disgraces her new husband with a bunch of sexy pictures. I think I speak for everyone when I say “fuck you, Mike Fisher.” (Celeb Jihad)

Transformers 3 star Isabel Lucas looks like she punched her way out of a grave after doing blow all night. I think it’s the shade of lipstick she’s wearing. (Hollywood Rag)

In case you needed more than “it’s a poor people drug,” 12 reasons to never do meth. (COED Magazine)

22 things a burglar would never tell you. Like how that sweater really brings out the green in your eyes or that you strike him as a Sagittarius with Capricorn tendencies. (Caveman Circus)

One Republic drummer arrested after going on a rampage! Maybe someone sat him down and forced him to listen to him music for three hours straight. That’d set me off on a rampage, too. (Bitten & Bound)

Gwyneth Paltrow is smiling like that in the hopes you won’t notice that she forgot to brush her heir. (INF Daily)

LeAnn Rimes is thinking about taking out a restraining order against Brandi Glanville. That should work out nicely for the stepkids and everything. (Celebitchy)

Lady Gaga’s sold-out Indonesian concert is canceled. They can go back to plague and plight now. (Allie is Wired)

Hilary Duff is still chunky. There, I said it. (G Celeb)