If Ashley Greene’s dress were any shorter, we’d be seeing her chocha. “How Greene Was My Valley,” indeed. (Moe Jackson)

Padma Lakshmi eats a lot of testicles. I assume she just flosses with the pubes. (Socialite Life)

Jessica Alba’s disturbing photo shoot for Genlux. (Hollywood Rag)

Now you can see Katy Perry nude but not showing anything good: the video! (CelebNewsWire)

Stacey Kiebler is still alive, believe it or not. (UseMyComputer)

Kate Gosselin’s bodyguard advised her on breast implants. I wonder if the gardener suggested the labiaplasty. (Celebitchy)

WTF did Milo Ventimiglia do this hair? (Seriously? OMG)

Police officer caught punching a woman: the video. (The Dirty)

Demi Lovato got a new tattoo. I assume it says “Who Gives a Rat’s Ass,” because I sure don’t. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

5 ways serial killers can help you pick up women! And then the 497 ways they can help you dismember them in your basement-turned-dungeon. (COED Magazine)

Christina Ricci like you’ve never seen her before! Okay, I’m kidding. She’s sulking and trying to look sexy. (glamzilla)

But I wanted my bowl of Zoe Saldana with dressing on the side! (G Celeb)

People Magazine names Jennifer Love Hewitt one of Hollywood’s “Most Amazing Bodies.” “Amazingly pear shaped and lumpy” must be implied. (Star Pulse)

Twihard wanking fantasy come to life: The Miss Zombie 2010 pageant! (Holy Moly!)

The new Mortal Kombat trailer makes up for the flaming turd that was “Mortal Kombat 2: Annihilation.” (Caveman Circus)