Charlize Theron claims she hasn’t had sex in two years! Well, I haven’t had sex in seven, so I win! (Gather)

Oh, look — Vanessa Hudgens’ presenting. She must be in heat! (G Celeb)

Mischa Barton is opening her own high-end fashion boutique. Mischa Barton, of the sailor bloomers and floral-print romper persuasion. I’m sure it will be a huge success. (Holy Moly!)

Speaking of Mischa and her high-end fashion boutique, check out these Boca Raton signature leopard-print pants she’s wearing here. (INF Daily)

These pics of Valerie Hope would probably get you over the hump if she didn’t look so much like Heidi the Cross-Eyed Possum. (Caveman Circus)

The long-lost Radiohead song “Putting Ketchup in the Fridge” is probably a fake. (Gawker)

Now Katy Perry’s camp is claiming that Russell Brand was into “wheelchair porn.” And until that very moment, it had never occurred to me that that kinda shit even existed. I can honestly say I was happier not knowing. (popbytes)

The years and gravity and humidity have not been kind to Diana Ross. (Seriously? OMG)

It’s amazing what a pair of eyebrows and a little lipstick can do for Rooney Mara. (Moe Jackson)

Christian Slater appears to have resigned to the pedestrian life of the washed-up has-been. (Hollywood Rag)

Please please please let this picture of Selena Gomez be real. (Celeb Jihad)

Five reasons you should still watch Jersey Shore… the only one that really resonated with me was “hey, at least it’s not anal electrocution.” Touche, good sir! (College Candy)

Reese Witherspoon unleashes her inner beach blonde bunny in Elle. I like it. Celebitchy)

2011: in Lego form! (Ned Hardy)

Demi Moore talks about her greatest fear, and it’s not saggy knees or unsightly chin hairs. (Evil Beet)