Spencer Pratt has logged Heidi out of the Matrix… and into a straight jacket. (College Candy)

Lindsay Lohan won’t be making her court hearing, because — get this — somebody “stole” her passport. (TMZ)

The always sexy Adriana Lima in Vogue Spain. (Gone-Hollywood)

Penelope Cruz’ little sister looks gorgeous in a bikini. (The Grumpiest)

Chris Klein is either high as a fucking kite or possessed by the devil in the Mamma Mia audition video. (CelebNewsWire)

Cuba Gooding, Jr. is falling-down drunk. (CelebSlam)

Ha ha — Jennifer Love Hewitt gets dumped. Again. (The Blemish)

Nine leaked clips from Sex and the City 2! (omg blog)

Great moments in No Shit, Sherlock — Sharon Stone finally owns up to having plastic surgery. (popbytes)

Jennifer Lopez needs $3000 diamond headphones to block the unsavory sound of poverty. (Celebitchy)

Taryn Manning playing soccer in a bikini. (Moe Jackson)

Nic Cage has on more foundation that a Kardashian at an InTouch photo shoot. (Hollywood Rag)

Drunken 18-year old skank assaults and spits blood on paramedics after being arrested at her senior prom — now with hot mugshot action! (Socialite Life)

Ariane Celeste sure does a bikini justice. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Amy Winehouse goes out for a nightcap… and winds up in the hospital. (Holy Moly!)