Twilight puss Robert Pattinson was forced to endure a 12-hour photo shoot with a bunch of naked chicks for his spread in next month’s Details magazine. See if you can guess how much he enjoyed that. Nine MSN says
“I really hate vaginas,” Showbiz Spy quoted him as saying. “I’m allergic to vagina. But I can’t say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours.
But I wasn’t exactly prepared. I had no idea what to say to these girls. Thank God I was hungover.”
“Allergic to vagina?” I’ve never heard it called that before. Most people usually refer to that condition as “faggoty-ass faggot.” In fact, that’s actually the correct term to use when filling out medical questionnaires and college applications. Just so you know.
Like this is news for this guy?
File it under “something we already knew.”
Perhaps you have never been a healthy straight heterosexual boy, especially in England where this originates, but please consider this and the context of the article:
A man goes to the doctor and says–Doctor–I hate vaginas- I am totally allergic to them and I cannot take it anymore! At which the doctor asks, What makes you think you are allergic? To which the man replies–every time I am near one, I get terribly swollen!
This has been a joke, especially amongst straight adolescent boys, and when they have a ‘reaction’ after seeing a pretty girl, especially in a state of undress, they joke– I’m allergic to vaginas, ya know. Sometimes they will just say–allergies and will go off into hysterics, knowing exactly what the ‘allergic’ reaction was.
In the context of the interview, where Pattinson was asked about the 12 hour photo shoot with naked women who were total strangers to himself, he could have said something outright vulgar, such as he had a hard-on the whole freakin time, but rather chose in a gentlemanly fashion to give the verbal response that referenced the old joke, knowing those with understanding would understand.
Obviously, you did not.
If it were me there interviewing him, I would have asked Pattinson to clarify: “What do you mean you hate vaginas? You don’t like the way the feel? The way they look? They scare you?”
Or I might say, “I know just what you mean! And penises can be really weird too– veiny and hairy. Frankly, I don’t think genitals should be seen in daylight at all. Twelve hours under bright lights is way too long to be around so many vaginas!”
On the cover of the magazine, Pattinson’s face is shown inbetween a woman’s legs, facing out, half smiling at the camera. His eyes tell his audience, “This is exactly where I belong, and as soon as you stop looking at me, I’m going to turn around and preform the best cunnilingus this woman has ever had.” Maybe the young star felt vulnerable, and he was trying to backtrack, get some control. Or maybe he really does hate vaginas. Does that mean he’s gay? I would’ve asked.