I have yet to watch a single episode of “Glee,” mostly because I was in chorus in high school and I know exactly how fucking lame it really is. Whatever they’re selling in that show, it’s all lies. Nobody in glee club wears PVC boots and rubber underpants. We wear headgear and what’s left of the hot lunch that got dumped in our lap. And occasionally a festive brooch when performing a Christmas melody in the Glendale Mall food court.

Glee star Lea Michele getting a little S&M-y in next month’s Marie Claire: