A sex tape starring Shakira and her soccer star boyfriend Gerard Pique is reportedly being shopped around the interwebs. MSN says:

Rumors about the tape have swirled for weeks — and representatives for Shakira have repeatedly denied its existence, but Spanish magazine Intervieu reports that a Barcelona talent agent was offered the tape for sale.

According to the magazine, the talent agent claims: “The video lasts about 15 minutes….it’s filmed with a cell phone, which I guess, belonged to Shakira’s employee who was at the helm of the boat that night. The images are not steady and it’s out of focus.”

I can’t think of a single reason you’d wanna watch amateur porn that’s all out of focus and wobbly. Maybe if you wanted to know what it’d be like to watch a sex tape as Harry Caray, but that’s pretty much it.

If you’re into Shakira’s black motorcross pants, try these from DKNY on for size. “Size” being the operative word here. This look doesn’t work if you’re fat.

At the Rock in Rio Festival last year: