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Showtime’s Henry VIII Gets Arrested


Devil-eyed actor Jonathan Rhys-Meyers got himself too wasted to board a plane over the weekend. The Daily Mail reports

Hollywood heartthrob Jonathan Rhys-Meyers was arrested as he tried to board a London-bound flight at Dublin Airport yesterday. Meyers, 30, was charged with being drunk and in breach of the peace under Section 4 and Section 6 of the Public Order Act. Meyers was in Dublin to promote his new movie August Rush, which opens on Friday.

I haven’t ever seen his show, but apparently Johnny boy plays King Henry VIII on a show about “boobs” and “King Henry VIII doing it with 16th-century sluts with boobs.” I initially though the show was historically inaccurate and gratuitous at best, but a little research revealed that King Henry VIII was actually at one point considered attractive by his peers. Hard to believe, I know! I suppose the “fat and riddled with syphilitic boils that require daily drainings” version of Henry sweating and thrusting into to some poor woman doesn’t really make for good cable TV. No matter how big the girl’s tits might be. Just as well. Mr. Meyers would make a great “Attractive Henry” if it weren’t for those coked-out-of-his-gourd homicidal rapist eyes of his. It’s the equivalent of Brad Pitt having a horrible disfiguring goiter or something. If the goiter were shaped like a swastika and could snort blow for seven straight hours and maybe kill you in your sleep, I mean. It’s just fucking creepy.

Various stages of “coked up,” “tweakin’,” and “I’m the devil incarnate and my soul is black:”