I have always known I was smarter than your average celebrity, because I’ve made it to 33 without having a sex tape stolen or getting a DUI or marrying Russell Brand, yet it still somehow astounds me every time I flip through an InStyle magazine and see how much money these idiots piss away on designer labels. Like AnnaLynne McCord’s $270 Agent Provocateur bikini, for instance. You could get a similar but way less dominatrix-y version of it in red here for less than a hundred bucks. If it’s the look of the O-ring you’re after, this Ralph Lauren wet leather bikini is infinitely more wearable and still less than a car payment. And hell, if all you’re really after is a bikini that draws attention to your beaver for under $200, then Chiarugi makes a great slut bikini for $180.
For those of you who just spent the last of your swimsuit money on discount cigarettes and inflatable lawn furniture, you could always just hang a poster board around your neck that says “LOOK AT ME” and sound an air horn every time somebody walks past. Experience says it’ll work just as well as a three hundred dollar bikini.
Shooting 90210 earlier this month: