Australian “actress” Sophie Monk isn’t even D-list on a good day, but I literally have nothing else to write about unless you want to review a two-page analysis of Justin Bieber’s latest haircut (no, really), so just shut your stupid piehole and quit with the “who?!’s” and “zzzzzz’s” already. Anyway, she just got engaged to some old dude I’ve never heard of. There. That wasn’t so hard, was it? Us Magazine says:
Sophie Monk, 31, announced her engagement to 50-year-old American businessman Jimmy Esebag on Tuesday.
“I got engaged,” Monk revealed during an Australian radio interview (via Sydney Morning Herald). “It feels right — I think you know when you know.”
Describing Esebag as her “soul partner,” the Spring Breakdown star added that she’s “marrying a male version of myself, which is dangerous but good. He’s a keeper.”
Did you catch that? She’s 31 and he’s 50. Which means when he was 31, she was just going into the sixth grade. Sorta makes my hanging out by the middle school soccer field seem a little less creepy now. The defense rests, your honor!
Looking like death warmed over last year (rows 1 & 2); at the premiere of one of those stupid Kardashian shows last month (3):
PHOTO CREDIT: Fame Pictures