Today when I was lying prone on the couch, high on Vicodin with fluid draining out of my ear, I asked myself, “Why don’t I look as good as supermodel Helena Christensen in a bikini?” Then I went back to drinking cake batter with a straw and watching hour number four of “B.J. and the Bear.” Some of life’s mysteries were never meant to be solved, my friends.
It’s hard to know who to hate more in this picture, Kim Kardashian or Madonna. Fortunately, a 15-inch barrel and bird shot means you don’t have to decide! Webby wonders: Did Robert Pattinson dump Kristen Stewart when he found texts from Rupert Sanders? (Hollywood Rag) You need this dress, and you need to pair it [...]
Citrus hues were big for spring, especially yellow, which was featured on the runways at Marc Jacobs, Alice + Olivia and Jenny Packham. Goldie Hawn and Goga Ashkenazi both wore the color to the amFAR Gala last week, but only one of them got it right. Hint: it’s the one who doesn’t look like she’s [...]
“Would you rather” is a classic game in which two worst-case scenarios are pitted against each other and you must choose one of the options, no matter how terrible it might be. For example, “Would you rather slide down a banister of razor blades into a pool of Texas Pete, or slide down a banister [...]
to hell with helena christensen in a bikini. i’d pay good money to see you drinking cake batter with a straw.
i find my straws get too gunked up, and have to eventually switch to rum. of course, mix the two toghether, and you have a lovely rum cake.
nutrition and happy hour all rolled up into one.
see, this is why you get the BIG bucks, abby!