The Grammy Awards were last night, and they were a total snoozefest.  Admittedly, I was powerfully hungover all day yesterday, but I watched the Grammys and they were so boring that I swear I fell asleep at least nine times before they finally ended.  Every performance that wasn’t Radiohead sucked, and  nearly everyone looked like ass on fire.  The header pic is Coldplay, who (naturally) showed up looking particularly jackassy.  Nothing awesome happened at all, and if there were any funny acceptance speeches then they were during my bouts of unconsciousness.  Here’s a round-up of the shiny, the slutty, and the strange.

Carrie Underwood looked super boring, but otherwise okay I guess:

Miley Cyrus was dressed like she was attending the funeral of her own dignity:

Taylor Swift was in mourning with Miley, apparently:

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The 2009 Grammy Nominations were announced last night via a first-ever televised primetime concert starring Christina Aguilera, John Mayer and Mariah Carey. The show also marked the grand opening of the new Grammy Museum, which officially opens to the public this weekend. People Magazine says

The event was cohosted by Taylor Swift and LL Cool J. Jay-Z, Ne-Yo and Kanye West were other top Grammy nominees – each with six nods. Radiohead was nominated for five awards, as were Robert Plant and Alison Krauss.

Album of the year contenders included Coldplay (Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends); rapper Lil Wayne (Tha Carter III); Robert Plant & Alison Krauss (Raising Sand); R&B singer Ne-Yo (Year of the Gentleman); and British alt-rock heroes Radiohead (In Rainbows). Pop-rock trio the Jonas Brothers led the list of best new artist nominees, along with British soul singers Adele and Duffy.

CBS will broadcast the 51st Grammy Awards live from Los Angeles’s Staples Center on Feb. 8.

In what bizarre world is Radiohead pitted against the likes of L’il Wayne and Ne-Yo? That’s like comparing the proverbial apples and oranges. Critically acclaimed, actual-instrument-playing apples and spoken-word-over-tracks-they’ve-lifted-from-other-more-talented-apples’-songs oranges. It’s not even fair. Perhaps next year they can create a category for “best crotch grab” and “most convincing slouch-and-squat in front of a bunch of chicks in bikinis’ asses” category. That way, the rappers won’t feel left out, and an actual musician can win Album of the Year. See, everybody wins!

The complete list of categories and nominees after the jump.

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